having a baby with a woman you don't love
NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. Nothing from the start. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. You can't force yourself to love him. but she didn't have her baby . If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. Does he still love me? Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. To think about the kids. I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? 2. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Create an account or log in to participate. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Get a job and find a place to live. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? Tell her at home and in private. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! He's controlling. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Has it ever gotten better. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Does the father know? Everybody deserves someone who is able to appreciate, respect, and love themselves. 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If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? That showed up as a third factor." But we started fighting more and more. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. Eventually though, it caught up to us. May you both be happy and healthy. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. You're an adult. Will you make a better progress by doing so? This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. First, she's too far along. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. In other words, those maternal. So, we got married. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! Its been almost 5yrs. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! form is an illusion. Is anyone in the same situation. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. I want to be a father!!! My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. 4. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. THAT'S IT. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. Either way, I was ready to "play house". We are two total opposite people. We don't have to be together to love our children. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Download Preview. He's not in love so he's selfish??? Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. You don't even love him. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? Cookie Notice Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. There are more than likely services in your area to help you get on your feet (welfare,food stamps,shelter). Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. Immerse yourself in nature. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. Americans love coffee. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. They were always fighting. Why not sharing in the upbringing of the child? Best of luck. It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. We are two total opposite people. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. "We are. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. He's not all bad. :(. If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. I hope everything works out for you. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. long story short. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). You could have the best partner and tons of family support. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. It might even be too late for you anyway. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? I know that my kids love us both. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. I don't know what to do. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always Add to Collection. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. 37 weeks today. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. I wasn't happy. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. We've been together 9. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. It just reads so snobby and lazy. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. FTM. SAY IT AGAIN! YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! We had two kidsnice little family unit. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him.